No longer am I sitting here asking myself why I'm not loosing anymore.
Because I know the answer, and I've known it all along.
I'm not following WW, I'm following the "Becki Program" as Lindsay always puts it.
Today is the last time that I tell myself that I am "starting" again. I tell myself this every two weeks, and today is the last time I am saying it.
Today is the start.
I am going to WI, (I didn't WI last week) and I know i'm up about a pound since I last weighed in. But that doesn't matter. I am starting over again.
I have to go back and learn how to track, and relize that I do need to add some movement to my day in order to loose.
When I come home tonight I am going to plan my week. The week's that I planned ahead were when I was successful.
I know that WW works, and that it works for me. I know that because I weighed 141 at Christmas, and had lost 30 pounds. Now I am at about 155, so my weight loss is below 20 again. When I thought about it this morning (and for the last few month's) I was BEATING myself up over it, which I think was why I wasn't loosing. I was getting so mad and depressed at myself for letting myself slip, that it was that much harder for me to get back on track.
I am going to WI tonight and embrace the fact that I want to loose weight, and that I can loose weight.
I bought a bikini yesterday because it was too cute to pass up. (Cummon, Toronto Maple Leafs...I had to have it, just so me)
and I know that I will not wear it until I loose at least 15 pounds. But 15 pounds? That's totally do-able by the end of the summer at least. I would like to wear it in 8 weeks. I know that is almost 2 pounds a week, but I also know that I can do that. Because I've done it before.
I am going to challenge myself this week. I will challenge myself to
a) track EVERYthing that I eat
b) get some sort of activity 5 our of the next 7 days. I am saying 5 day's, because I know that 7 day's will overwhelm me.
c) See a loss next week that I am happy about. I want to see something (anything) over 1lb next week.
That's it, oh, and I challenge myself to blog more too, because I love blogging and I have put in on the back burner lately.
I have to stop putting everyone else before myself and my health. I have never been able to do that. My friends and family always come first. And when I sit and think about it today (after talked to Lindsay about everything) I think it's because I have always been insecure about how I look that I want everyone else to feel happy about the kind of person that they are and how they look. Why can't I still have that and be happy about the person that I am?
As of today, I will.